The past of Dylan and Sam
by CasualtyForever
Summary: "Seriously how do you know her you're old enough to be her father, oh god you're not are you" set when Sam joins the ED hoping to forget her past but when she sees Dylan she knows this is going to be hard.
1. Chapter 1

_"Eyeing up new talent" _

_ "What do you mean new talent."_

_"New as in started last week and talent as in you're tongue was hanging out you're mouth"_

_"My tongue was doing nothing of the sort"_

_"Oh it's nothing to be ashamed of, you're a man besides they say a persons reach should exceed their grasp."_

_"What's that supposed to mean?"_

_"Oh you were so looking"_

_"Right can we save the fun and games until later"_

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Dylan stared at Samantha, so many thoughts flying round his head. He realised Zoe was still watching as Sam introduced herself. She was always such good actor, unlike him.

"Hello" she said staring at him. It can't be her, it can't be her Dylan tried to convince him self.

"what the hell are you doing here?" He asked quietly, leaning towards her not wanting anyone to overhear. He was genuinely wanting to know. He didn't know how she still recognised him. He didn't even know if she was alive before now.

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**Earlier that morning**

Sam awoke to a bright sunny day and birds chirping outside her window. She actually felt happy and excited, a feeling she hadn't experienced for ages. She walked over to her wardrobe choosing a casual outfit to wear. As she pulled of her clothes she caught sight of her scars in the mirror. She sighed feeling the red marks across her thighs at least none were fresh she though to herself. She was a new person anyway, since she left the care home and studied at university she had changed. She though most of her scars were caused by that one care home.

She wondered what she would do if she was questioned about her life at work. She could hide her emotions pretty well and was glad for that, she had had plenty of practise of lying about her life. She could be just like the other doctors with there happy families. Certainly not with a dad who left and a mother who committed sever side right in front if they're 12 yr old daughter. She shivered at the image that came to her head then her flat after grabbing breakfast.

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**so there you go... Please rate and review as I'm not sure about this fic :/**


	2. Chapter 2

**so here is chapter 2! thanks for the reviews I was amazed to see I had some. Xx**

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Sam walked into the ED relived to be there despite everything. She already felt safe there as long as Dylan wasn't around. She knew Dylan wasn't a bad person really, he was awkward, grumpy and used to be an alcoholic, though Sam wasn't sure if he still was. _Because after all people change_... She told herself. _I did, look at me, I am past my depressed self harming old self. I went to the army to forget everything, to change, to stop being weak, to be strong._

Sam walked into the staffroom and saw Dylan staring at her, he still looked the same only a few wrinkles. Once he realised she had seen him he walked straight out leaving Sam with Linda and Zoe.

"you two know each other don't you" Zoe said watching Sam closely.

"mmm yeah I guess" Sam said quietly because she couldn't think of any lies.

"how?" Linda asked, keen to know the gossip.

"let's say it was in the past and we have all forgotten it" Sam said quickly and left the room.

"what do you think?" Zoe asked Linda, Zoe wasn't sure whether to be worried or not.

"I think that they may be related or mabye have dated of something." Linda replied her brain rapidly thinking.

"fff Dylan dating Sam, I highly doubt that Linda" Zoe replied with strange pictures in her head. Suddenly the sound of the door opening broke their thoughts, Dylan walked in and went to his locker. Zoe and Linda instantly shut up and tried to act normal but ended up sitting there awkwardly.

"Dylan, how do you know sam." Zoe asked not sure what the reaction would be. Dylan looked up with annoyance on his face.

"I'm sorry but that is my life" he said raising his voice

"I don't want to give you're girls gossip group anymore conversations. You should stay out of my life, it doesn't matter to you, you will pretend to care and act sweet but will just gossip BEHIND MY BACK"

"woah Dylan we are only trying to help you." Linda said calmly.

"yeah well here is a suggestion DONT!" Dylan said and walked out slamming the door." Linda and Zoe sat in silence for a minute then Zoe broke the silence.

"I have never seen Dylan like that, they must have some big secret."

"Yeah" came Linda's reply.

* * *

Sam was on her lunch break and realised she forgot her lunch. She didn't think anything was healthy enough so ran home to collect her lunch. She arrived quickly and grabbed her tomato and lettuce sandwich but caught sight of something by the front door.

She stared at the little old blue diary for a few seconds. She had never had the courage to read it but after today felt the urge. She shoved it into her bag before returning to the ED.

"there you go Laura, you can go home now" she said handing the lady some pain killers, she knew how everyone was always so keen to go home. Whenever she was in hospital she never wanted to go back home,sometime she even had faked extra symptoms to stay in for longer.

Sam had treated two patients but her mind was wandering to the diary, she wanted to read it so badly. She had lost all focus and was relived it was her break. She immediately went to the free on call room and locked the door. She slowly opened the book with shaking hands and turned to the date she knew so well...

* * *

_August 12 1996_

_3:42 pm_

_I have just got home from school and am glad it's now the weekend. Today was as always an awfull day at school. Even the teachers hate me. They ignore me and do nothing when the kids trip me up or push me over. Today Sophie shoved me into the lockers infront of mr fadet he saw and I'm sure he smiled. My life is stupid it can't get any worse._

sam felt herself tense up and felt the tears in her eyes, she decided to keep reading, knowing what would come next. She felt so bad for the 12 yr old self.

_5:53 pm_

_I know what I said about my life not getting anyworse but i lied..._

_i was downstairs helping make dinner when I smashed a plate by accident. My mother grabbed my wrist and smacked me harder then ever she ever has done before. I know this time will haunt me and I will never forget it. The sound of the plate smashing and the pieces all over the floor. A new scar to add to my collection. I am glad it was only a hit and not a cut because i think cuts scar for longer. I can see all the slashes across my arm now. Anyway, I ran to my room before she did anything else and let the tears flow. I heard shouting downstairs and sigh. I look at my thigh, the fresh red marks from yesterstoic shining in my pale skin, I am sure I am only pale because I am not allowed outside. Why can't I be like other children happy familes, playing in the park. I am feeling myself getting angry. I am told it is good to write you're emotions by dad who gave me this diary. No! I can't get angry, I am not like mum, I am like dad._

Sam felt tears running down her cheeks and could see the old tears stains down the page, the handwriting was getting really wobbly and she didn't know If she could continue. She took a deep breath and continued reading.

i _think dad is sticking up for me, no I say out loud. He shouldn't stick up for a stupid worthless girl like me. I hear many rude words, some children say to me at school, one a teacher even said to me, though some I don't know. He shouts something very very rude and I head downstairs to tell him not to stick up for me, my mum sees me. Look you are just like you're Stupid father. She grabs a knife and cuts his arm, he screams in pain. I remember that scream it forever rings in my head, my dads scream. He stares at mum and she hands him the knife. "Stab her you ******** ****" mum says looking at me. "No way." "Fine I shall do it myself. " mum says and cuts my arm, luckily it's not serious" "no" dad says "that's it I'm leaving" "Dylan you are a ******* ********" dad runs upstairs grabs his coat and kisses me on the head. "I love you Samantha stay strong. he walked out. And I ran upstairs. Now I'm in my room bleeding alone with a evil mother In my house. I wish I was with dad, I can hear his scream and they're shouting echoing in my ears, just like the other time. I cant do this any longer._

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**So there you go, chapter 2 let me know what you think! Xx**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here is chapter 3, I'm kinda free styling so please please let me know any suggestions or thoughts, may be getting a mild case of writers block... Xx**

**disclaimer: I do not own any casualty characters**

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"ok, I can do this" Sam said to herself out loud. She had been sat there for about 5 minutes.

"I am strong, I have faced the army" she took a deep breath and wiped the tears off her face. She released how pale she looked, compared to her normal self. Coming here and seeing Dylan had just been too much for her to handle, she was going to face Dylan soon.

she took a deep breath and left the on call room.

"You all right sam" Linda said from outside the room making Sam jump.

"what yeah, fine. Just resting" Sam replied putting on a brave face.

"I'm here if you need me ok?" Linda said to Sam kindly.

"yeah, thanks" Sam replied quietly and quickly while walking away. She was worried about people finding out her past.

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Sam POV

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Zoe comes up to me and asks if I can deal with a case I am keen to take my mind off things so I accept the offer. Zoe whispers to me that it could be a case of child abuse so to tread carefully. I feel a pit of dread burn up inside me, would I be able to handle this.

"ok cubicle 3" zoe says pointing to the cubicle. I take a deep breath and pull open the curtain.

A young girl who looks about 12 is laid down on the bed looking weak and helpless staring up at me. She is covered in bruises and I can't deal with it. I reminds me of myself when I was younger, helpless in hospital hoping not too go home again. I quickly say to Zoe

"I'm sorry I cant do this" and run out of the cubicle and into the toilets before breaking down.

"Sam, Sam" I hear Zoe call after me.

"dont go after her, you know what's she's like" Linda told Sam and im glad she said that, having Zoe follow me and question me should not be good.

End of POV

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Dylan's POV

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I see sam run out of a cubicle and want to run after her, but Zoe catches me and asks me if I can deal with this child abuse case. I think I understand why Sam ran out and immediately feel sorry for her.

Zoe pulls back the curtain and apologises for before while I just stare at the young girl, she looks so much like Sam did, pale, blond hair, helpless. It's all to much for me to take in and I quietly say

"I'm sorry, can't do this" and keep walking to the staff room hoping to keep myself together.

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**So there you go... please rate and review, it makes me smile, also suggestions needed. Xx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Here is chapter 4 :D let me know what you think, and yes Dylan is sam's father (though I think everyone knew) :) I got from idea from re watching a SAMs first episode and Zoe asking Dylan how the knew each other and she suggested he was her father...**

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Sam took a deep breath, she knew what she wanted to do and slowly moved her shaking hand to her pocked, she pulled out the little blue book and ran her hands along the spine. She opened the book and turned it two the date she knew by memory...

_13th August 1996_

_i am in this car with a lady, I don't know who she is as I haven't bothered listening to her, she is acting all sweet so I am doing my best to ignore her. She just asked me what I'm writing but I ignored her, so much has happened today so I am going from when I just got home from school. Today will scar me forever._

_ I had just got home and walked into the kitchen and saw my mum stood there with a very strange look on her face, I went to walk away but she grabbed me by my school blouse, I turned around to see her evil face staring at me, only then did I see she was holding a massive knife. She looked at me and said_

_"you are stupid you are a **** ****** I have never been proud of you and never will, you are the DEFINITION OF REGRET, I mean I never knew that a girl could be so stupid, you have no one that loves you and no one ever will!"_

* * *

Sam could see the old teardrops on the page and felt new ones land too she shakily continued reading.

* * *

_mum looked at me and held the knife up in my face,_

_"you and you're prick of a father have caused this, you are just like him, I am glad I won't get older to see you fail at life. I am sure you're whole life will fail I mean, you are a slut, you are only 12 and you are definitely a slut, I do not regret getting me and Kevin to rape you, you deserve it."_

_she then took the knife and plunged it into her stomach, her scream piercing in my ear and blood flowing over the floor some of the blood got on my clothes but I didn't care. I called the police and went to my room crying and unable to stop, now I am in this car._

_my life is a fail and so am I. I am stupid and worthless my mum and dads screams ring in my ears and the sight of her blood fills me when I close my eyes._

_I am stupid._

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Sam couldn't control her self she had sudden flashbacks and broke down, she heard Zoe's voice and her banging on the door Zoe then somehow got into the toilet and Sam felt the urge to run, she broke past Zoe and Linda who appeared out of no where and Tried to exit the toilets but ended up collapsing in the corner by the sinks. Zoe picked up the blue book and started to read the pages left open dated 12 &13th August. Linda you beta look at this Zoe said signalling to Linda,

"oh god Sam I am so sorry" Zoe said while Linda stood there frozen.

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**there you go xx please r&r xxx**


	5. Chapter 5

**sorry for the long wait... :D heres chapter 5! Xxx**

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**Zoe's POV**

i_ cant believe what I just read, Sam the strong doctor I hired, the ex army medic? More importantly was Dylan her father? I didn't see that coming though I guess they were awkward. But that's just Dylan. I think I will talk to Sam but I'm not sure how that will go knowing her..._

"Sam it's ok, you know you could of talked to us, I fact let's go to the office" I say just as a woman walks in. Sam leads the way and I whisper at Linda.

"don't tell anyone,ok" she nods and goes back to work. I look at the way Sam walks she is looking. So helpless and innocent. I can't believe anyone would have to go through this. We reach my little office and I gesture for Sam to take a seat.

"ok, firstly, is everything in this book true." I ask though I think it is.

"yes" Sam says quietly.

"ok, I'm sorry, Sam no one should of had to go through that." I tell her truthfully.

"how much did you read?" She asks me and I reply honestly.

"August 12 and 13th the pages it was open on, no more." I see Sam sigh With relif

"why, was there worse" I ask curiously. Sam sniffs and nods.

"oh Sam I'm so sorry."

"I think you can get through this, but one question, why now? Why did you break down today?" I ask though I think I know the answer.

"Dylan.. I it just I didn't know he was here so seeing him when I was unprepared just... I mean it wasn't his fault... I even thought he might be dead from what mum..."

"Sam it's ok I get the idea." I say quickly to her relief and mine as I didn't want to hear anymore. For a while we sit in silence, not awkward though.

_i think the book even said she was raped, how old was she then 12? I don't think I will bring that up. I should get her to press charges, wait her mum died. Should I suggest counselling? No one Dylan was like he was after what he went through I can't imagine that, it's like something out if a film. I am surprised Sam i so brave now, well, she is definitely coping better then I would. I was ok I had a nice happy family, well an annoying brother who's in prison but my parents were nice._

I was interrupted from my thoughts by a knock at the door. Sam gave me a panicked look and I slowly opened the door slightly so that who ever was there could mostly only see my face. I see Tess stood outside. I am relived it's only her.

"what?" I ask her and I think she caught site of Sam. She gave me a questioning look and I whispered.

"not a good time"

"ok I will come back later... Bye" she says loudly so Sam can hear. I go back to sit next to Sam.

"sorry, look how are you going to get through This?" I ask her. She shrugs.

"I could arrange counselling for you" I say knowing her reaction won't be good.

"No!" She almost shouts. I knew that was coming...

"ok Sam don't worry, what will you do?"

she takes a deep breath and says

"I will talk it over with Dylan."

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**sorry it's short and I going to annoy you by saying, please could you rate and review it makes me smile :D xxx**


	6. Chapter 6

**ok here is chapter 6 thanks to For the tom and Sam idea I will use it xxx**

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Zoe couldn't believe that she had just heard Sam say that... Of course she was glad she hoped that they would get together and discuss this. She could fix this she thought smiling to herself as she went to get dylan. She didn't know quite what she was going to say but she was approaching him...

"dylan" she said calmly. Watching him spin around with a confused expression on his face.

"I need you to talk things over with Sam, she had a panic attack and wants to talk things over with you." Zoe said quickly not letting him interrupt. Dylan normal expression changed. He stared at Zoe then strangely nodded his head and followed Zoe without speaking, he just wanted to get this over.

"Sam" Zoe said caused Sam to look up from fiddling with her fingers.

"shall I leave you two or do you want me to stay." Sam looked up at Zoe before nodding her head. Zoe was surprised with that answer but tried not to show it.

"Ok well I can leave at any point." Zoe said knowing that this convocation would be awkward especially as it involved Dylan Keogh possibly the most awkward man on the planet. Zoe thought to herself.

"dad" Sam whispered with tears in her eyes. Looking up at her father.

"Sammy" Dylan replied studying his daughters face.

"I thought you were dead." sam said truthfully.

"yeah well I am alive, but I thought you could be dead living with _that _woman" dylan replied. Sam sighed did he not know about his wife's death?

"you know she committed sewer side in front of me the day after you went right?" Sam asked hoping he knew.

"What...no" Dylan said with tears in his eyes.

"I.. Didn't... In front of you?" Sam nodded. They sat In Silence for a minute while Dylan digested that information.

"Where did you go after she stabbed you." Sam asked hearing Zoe gasp.

"I got a few streets away before I collapsed. An ambulance came for me because someone called. I stayed in hospital for a while till I stayed at work. I moved in with a friend untill I brought my boat" Sam nodded.

"where did you go" Dylan continued and sam looked at him before replying

"I got taken into care and never got fostered, I sorted out my life and trained as a doctor." Sam said.

"can I see you're scar." Sam asked randomly and Dylan pulled up his sleeve to reveal a long scar running up his arm. Instinctively Sam pulled up her trousers so that Dylan could see the slash marks on her leg. They all felt done talking and quickly said bye as Dylan left the office.

"well done" Zoe said to Sam truthfully as Sam looked ultra relived.

"I'm going back to work" Sam said smiling.


	7. Chapter 7

**here is chapter 7 :D please let me know what you think**

**disclaimer I still don't own casualty but if I did it would be awesome!**

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**SAMs POV**

I am really happy with how that went, I feel some of the wait gone of my shoulders. Dylan walked away and Zoe came up behind me.

"well done, that was really brave." she tells me and I smile at her.

"thanks I feel so much better now" I say and she smiles.

"I take it you still don't want that child abuse patient" Zoe says and I quickly shake my head.

"ok, that's fine don't worry, I will keep you away from those cases for now" Zoe says making me more relived.

"Oh yeah and there is a new pedeatrition starting now he is just arriving now" Zoe says and I nod not really bothered.

a few minutes later I see this new pediatrition walking down the corridor, he is really good looking and has a very warm smile. He looked at me and smiled before heading off. His image sticks in my head before I continue with work.

During lunch break he comes up to me and says

"hi" I try to be calm and reply

"hi" back, I then add

"you must be the new perdiatrition" he nods and looks at me with his bright blue eyes.

"how long have you been working here?" He asks me.

"a few days, it's really nice here" I reply my heart beating fast.

"how would you like to err.. Well you don't have to but would you like to come out with me for a drink after the shift." He asks me and I can tell he is nervous.

"yeah sure" I say amazed that he just asked me, I ty to keep my excitement from showing very clearly.

"ok great " he says and gets up, he is easy to read and I can tell he is very happy. He leaves and Zoe comes up behind me.

"oh god" I say to myself knowing she is gonna say something.

"ooh who's that?" She asks me intrigued.

"just the new pediatricion, he asked me out for some drinks after the shift." I say and I see her smile.

"_just, _the new pediatriction" she says looking at me expectantly.

"well" she says wanting me to continue.

"I guess he is good looking" I say and can tell she is pleased. Sue then walks away smiling and I head back to work, I am treating an old lady with a broken hip and time is going very slowly. all I see is toms blue eyes and gorgeous smile while time drags on forever.

"you look excited" the old lady who happened to be called Janet said.

"mmhhmm" I say.

"seeing someone tonight then?" She asks me smiling.

"what how did you know?" I ask confused.

"ohh my dear you have that look in you're face." I am seriously confused, was I that easy to read. I hoped not. I Prescribed her painkillers and she left happily. Soon enough it was the end if the shift and I was just putting in my coat when Tom came up to me.

"you ready?" He asked smiling and I nod watching his beautiful eyes. He takes my hand and Zoe sees us and smiles as much as the Cheshire Cat. We then cross the road and sit down at a table smiling at each other.

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**there you go! Please rate and review with any suggestion :D xxx**


	8. Chapter 8

**ok I know this is kind of confusing but I have the thoughts in italics, also here is my new youtube Sam fan video :D please check out my channel. watch?feature=c4-feed-u&v=B4N8E45gmJM**

**thanks xx**

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Sam POV  
_Tom, he's so perfect he had the best smile and I feel like I have known him for eternity. His blue shining eyes are looking at me and I can't help but be drawn in by them, I don't want to fall for him straight away but I can't resist him. I have only heard good things about him from the team._

TOMS POV

_She is so beautiful, she looks so casual, she also looks insecure which I'm not sure why someone so beautiful would be and I can't resist her, I want to get to know her first but she is way better than Jodie, I can already tell._

NOR MAL POV  
"What would you like to drink?" Tom asked politely smiling at Sam.

"Ohh just a coke thanks" Sam said smiling straight at Tom.

"Two cokes please" Tom said finishing if the order.

"So what brings you to holby?" Sam asked Tom.

"Well it was kind of last minute I came here with my helicopter crew and I saw nick and I just couldn't resist this wonderful place!"'Tom said jokingly making Sam laugh.  
_He's so funny.  
She has a good sense of humor._

"So what did you do before HOLBY?" Tom asked Sam out of genuine curiosity.

"I was an army medic" Sam stated surprising Tom.

"Wow really, I could never do that, I better not get on you're wrong side then!" Tom joked.  
_Wow she was in the army, how brave she must be._

"Yeah you shouldn't get on my bad side." Sam joked back making eye contact with tom. There eyes met and they stared at each other for a minute lost in thoughts before they realised what they were doing. They awkwardly sat back in their seats just as the waiter brought their cokes.

"Thanks" Tom said and Sam nodded.

"So do you have a boyfriend?' Tom asked Sam hoping for an answer he wanted.

"No... Do you have a girlfriend?" Sam said smiling, while Tom Tried to hide his delight, Sam could read him though and could tell he was pleased by that.

"No, I'm all alone" Tom said jokingly to Sam who managed to successfully hide her delight. They both smiled and Sam felt instantly awkward.

"So what do you're parents do?" Tom asked Sam, as he couldn't think of anything else to say. Sam froze then relaxed slightly, it was a big enough pause for Tom to notice.

"Don't worry, my history is pretty messed up too" Tom said and Sam caught his eye.

"Ok, I want to know about you, you want to know about me, right?" Tom said truthfully as Sam nodded intrigued

"Ok, We can take turns revealing things, but they are secret, agreed?" Sam smiled and nodded, she felt happy with this man.

"Ok, I'm going to say this now to break the ice... I was adopted" Tom said quickly worried what SAMs reaction would be. She looked shocked.

"Me too!" She said almost with delight.

"Really?" Tom said and Sam nodded. They both looked at each other smiling.

"Ok.., me again then... I had depression" Sam studied Tom, while making strong eye contact, Sam wasn't the type for revealing things.

"Me too, and... Self harm" Tom stopped drinking his drink and stared at her for a second.

"If you don't mind me asking, why were you put into care?" Sam took a deep breath, she couldn't find the words so she reached into her bag and pulled out the little blue book she had seen too much today. She passed it to an intrigued looking Tom and put it on the page Zoe and Linda had seen earlier... She watched toms reaction closely.


	9. Chapter 9

**ok it's really short but I think it's sweet :)**

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Tom turned out to be a slow reader to the frustration of Sam, who was waiting impatiently for him to finish reading the blue book. His face changed, he looked shocked and seemed to be trying to hide it, but Sam could easily read him.

"I don't know what to say... Sorry" is allTom managed to say While he tried to digest all the information he had just read. He had thousands of questions floating around his head but didn't dare ask them yet.

_wow did she go through all that, she looks so calm._

"Don't worry, I just don't like explaining it, it's over now" Sam said trying to not worry Tom.

"Ok... Wow" Tom finished.

"What's in the past has gone though" Sam said knowing it applied to the both of them.

"Yeah, sure, my past is forgotten" Tom said and smiled at Sam, there eyes met again and they leant in and kissed automatically. Sam relaxed totally and found herself lost in the moment and totally enjoying it. They leant back and Sam wiped her mouth before looking cheekily at Tom again and leaning in to kiss again. This time the kiss lasted over a minute and was much more passionate.

_Wow that was amazing_

_That was the best kiss I have ever ha_d.

Tom looked at his watch filling with disappointment .

"We need to go back to work now" Tom stated dissapointing Sam.

_I already feel like I've known him my whole life, he's amazing._

_wow... She's perfect_

they walked out of the pub and Tom reached nervously for SAMs and she accepted it suprised but secretly delighted at this action.

_oh my gosh she took my hand, this is amazing, she looks so calm._

_oh my gosh he took my, hand wow ok try to look calm._

They smiled as looks from staff and colleagues started and walked into the ED.

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**ok I'm hoping this is short and sweet :) please review**


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